took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
