piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize