I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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