Only a mothe r could love this liver
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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