somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
