i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
