you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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