you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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