upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
