he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Let's get the cat blown out
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
