I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
