i barfeds in our rink
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
