i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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