What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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