I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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