How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
