im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
