you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize
