i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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