Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
