Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
