I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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