I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
