I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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