What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
