I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
