Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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