I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
