I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
