I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
