Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize