i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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