No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
