I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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