go do what you do best...puke behind churches
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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