You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Text me some of your sweat
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
