yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
