If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
