come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
