Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
