They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
this will be a night to untag.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
