Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
