Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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