I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
you had me at cake vodka
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
