ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
