I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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