His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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