I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
