Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
50% drunk capacity currently
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
