This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
NoShamevember. You game?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
