he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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