so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
