in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i wish my penis had a tongue
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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