plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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