The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
