Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
