My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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